The Dark Knight Rises Script - Deleted Scene 3

Alfred stands in the middle of what was once the kitchen of Wayne Manor, cellphone at his ear.  The room is now covered in dust sheets, with tins of paint and rollers in trays lying around, and ladders and workbenches set up by different walls.

ALFRED
No, no, no!  I specifically said Daybreak Blue, not Midnight Blue.  What kind of a kitchen is painted dark blue, you plonker? 

He ends the call and puts his phone down on the counter as a burly builder arrives in a hard-hart and dust-mask, carrying a rolled up blueprint and a duffel bag.  He towers over Alfred, but moves slowly and purposefully.

BUILDER
Sir, a moment of your time please?

ALFRED
My name… is Alfred Pennyworth.

BUILDER
…OK.  Well, you may refer to me as Bane.

ALFRED
Bane then.  What’s on your mind, muscle-man?

BANE (BUILDER)
While moving your piano I happened to accidentally hit a random combination of keys and came across an interesting discovery.

Bane unrolls the blueprint on the worktop, and points to an area on it.

ALFRED
Oh, the Batcave?  Not a lot of people know about that.

BANE
…Bat…cave?  I was referring to the elevator.  We have been storing building materials down there, using the elevator to transport them.

ALFRED
…Crap.

BANE
I deduce from your regretful and frustrated demeanour that I am not supposed to be privy to this information.  Perhaps there is more to the mysterious Mr Wayne than I first thought.

ALFRED
No, you see, he’s, uh… he’s keeping the Batcave here for a friend.

Bane puts his hands on his hips while Alfred fiddles with the sleeves of his jumper, avoiding Bane’s piercing gaze.  Workmen start to filter in and out of the room, moving equipment around.

BANE
A friend? 

ALFRED
Yeah, a friend.

BANE
And tell me, Mr Pennyworth, would this friend happen to be The Batman?

ALFRED
That’s correct, sir.

BANE
Batman?

ALFRED
Yeah

BANE
…is Bruce Wayne?

ALFRED
Yeah.  Wait, what?

BANE
Thank you for your help, Mr Pennyworth.

He picks up his blueprint and starts to leave, but a slip of paper inexplicably falls out of his duffel bag, and Alfred manages to pick it up before Bane has a chance.

BANE
Give that back.

ALFRED
Let me just have a quick look.

Close up on the slip of paper which is actually a business card, emblazoned with the words:

“BANE: MERCENARY/TERRORIST/PAINTER/DECORATOR”

ALFRED
Says here you do a bit of the old terrorism, Master Bate?

BANE
Bane, not Bate.

ALFRED
Either way, you’re a wanker.  Ha ha.  I’m only pulling your leg, me old mucker.

BANE
Your language… I do not understand what you are saying.

A loud crashing noise is heard from somewhere in the house, causing Alfred to look around him in shock while Bane is nonplussed.

ALFRED
What the hell was that?

BANE
Do not worry.  We sent some paints and hardware down in the elevator to that basement, that pit.  Sometimes the pit sends something back.

The room rumbles beneath their feet.

BANE
Now that I cannot explain.

The two men rush through the house to the source of the noise, the elevator shaft.  Smoke and debris rise up and as it clears, Alfred peers down into the darkness.

ALFRED
You idiots!  What are you playing at? You were only supposed to blow the blood doors off!  Oh, you have.  As you were then.

BANE
Tell me, Mr Pennyworth, just what do you do with your time now that Bruce Wayne is indisposed?  Have you ever considered that there might come a time that Gotham needs its hero once more?

ALFRED
Yeah, well, why do you reckon I’ve been doing up the Batcave, you cheeky git?

BANE
Pardon my interference, Mr Pennyworth, but I hardly think that Cath Kidston prints and IKEA Billy bookcases will be of use to Mr Wayne, should he be required to don his mantle once more…

ALFRED
You mind your own business, mate.  I know Master Wayne better than anyone else, and what he needs is a nice place to chill out and feel relaxed.  Thinking of putting a koi pond down there and all.

BANE
You are… a strange creature, Mr Pennyworth.

ALFRED
‘Ark who’s talking!

Alfred minces off toward the island counter in the kitchen, picks up a tray of tea and cakes and minces back to the elevator shaft to call down to the builders.

ALFRED
Teas on, boys, got some chocolate fingers here for ya…and a couple of biscuits too, haha!  (nudges Bane, winks)  Oooh, I’m terrible, aren’t I?

Bane stands around as Alfred sets the tray down on the side and minces back back into the kitchen, whistling “Waterloo” by ABBA as he leaves the room, leaving Bane alone by the elevator.

BANE
Did he… did he become gay over the course of our conversation?

A pink bat symbol appears on the screen and the title credits roll.