Tuesday, 30 October 2012

The Other 45 Ways To Leave Your Lover

A recently discovered list of the remaining 45 pieces of advice from Paul Simon’s hit song

For reference:

1. Just slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. You don't need to be coy, Roy
4. Hop on the bus, Gus
5. Just drop off the key, Lee


6. Break down and start cryin’, Bryan
7. Pretend that you’re gay, Jay
8. Leave her on a whim, Jim
9. Kick her in the leg, Greg
10. Get on your bike, Mike
11. Tell her she’s fake, Jake
12. Just say no, Joe
13. Introduce her to Larry, Barry
14. Buy her a cat, Matt
15. Push her in a gorge, George
16. Dig her a grave, Dave
17. Don’t give her a chance, Lance
18. Tie a note to a brick, Nick
19. Tell her she’s odd, Todd
20. Find someone new, Lou
21. Get really cross, Ross
22. Cut the bitch loose, Bruce
23. Call her a knob, Rob
24. Just make sure you’re gone, Don
25. Pretend that you’re dead, Fred
26. Set off your “bitch detector”, Hector
27. Abandon her in a field, Neil
28. Say you don’t give a damn, Sam
29. Throw her stuff in the bin, Finn
30. Change the locks and keys, Rhys
31. Make her feel small, Paul
32. Tell the news at ten, Ben
33. Just slay ‘em, Graham
34. Pretend that you’re deaf, Jeff
35. Take all of her cash, Ash
36. Make her pay every bill, Phil
37. Don’t be a coward, Howard
38. Tell her she’s foul, Raul
39. Don’t say you’re sorry, Cory
40. Be her long-lost pal, Al
41. Tell her she’s an own-goal, Noel
42. Step on her feet, Pete
43. Say her voice hurts your teeth, Keith
44. Do it for a lark, Mark
45. Call her a skank, Frank

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